Remember the children's chant: sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me? Saying that might have kept some of us out of trouble at recess, but the more I reflect on those words, the more I must disagree with the assumption. Words can hurt us and often do.
I think for example of the blatant lies that are often broadcast in public and social media. Sometimes we do it unintentionally, not having questioned the source of our information, but repeating what we have received because it fits our preconceptions. Other times we do it deliberately to make our "point" and advance a particular agenda.
I think of slander and libelous comments fostered on those with whom we disagree. We assume the worse we can make others look, the better we and our like-minded associates can seem. We use words we do not understand and maliciously apply them to those we oppose. I heard someone observe: everyone is intitled to their own interpretation, but no one is intitled to their own facts. I have tried to be sure my "facts" are right before I pronounce them with authority.
I think careful and responsible attention to the words we use can restore civility and respect allowing ample opportunity for disagreement. Words set a tone, create an atmosphere or climate, and open or close attempts to communicate.
The words we use say more about us than about those we are attempting to characterize. Example: when someone says "nigger," they are revealing their prejudice and smallness of character. When we fill our discourse with words of violence and negative, destructive intention, we reveal our hostility and anger that accomplishes nothing constructive and uplifting.
I have consciously tried to eliminate phrases like "Jew someone down" because of the prejudicial stereotype behind it; I try not to use the word "kill" when talking about people and ideas because of the hostile, violent connotation; I try not to call someone I disagree with an "enemy," as I try to acknowledge their integrity and value as fellow human beings. Do I always live up to this lofty advice? No, and I apologize for my shortcomings. More and more I appreciate this incredible journey we are on together, and I need all the help I can get.
I am reminded of my traditions petition: "May the words of my mouth (MAY THE WORDS OF MY MOUTH) and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Thy sight." I start each day with these words on my lips, asking for help.
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Monday, March 17, 2014
A Tribute to My Father
Wednesday would have been my father's 100th birthday (March 19, 1914--March 19, 2014)! He was the finest man I have ever known, and even after I outgrew his 5' 7", I still looked up to him. I miss him everyday.
My earliest memory of him was the day he came home from the Great War and I saw this strange man grab and kiss my mother. Even though he was married with a child, he still considered it his patriotic duty to volunteer and serve his country. When it was over, he never glorified the war or mentioned it to me other than the time I asked him where he served. He was the ideal citizen soldier (he served in the Navy), and whether he agreed or not, he supported me in my conscientious objection to Vietnam.
Nine months and five minutes later :) my sister was born. They had a special bond (like Mother and I did) that showed me his warm and gentle side. He taught me how to ride a bike, take care of puppies, build model airplanes, and shoot a gun. Some of our best times were early morning breakfasts and waiting together in the deer stand. His trophies were limited, mine nonexistent.
He took me to the library for my first book about the birds and bees and taught me how to drive, leaving me alone to drive home after getting my licence at age 14. He was a teacher par excellence, remembered and revered by generations of veterans on the GI bill and high school students. Nothing escaped his ever watchful gaze, earning him the nickname "Hawkeye" around school.
Most of all he taught me integrity and deeply held moral values. He was not above admitting mistakes and changing his mind when convicted of the right. I remember him saying in 1954 that if the schools were ever integrated, he would stop teaching. Well, they were and he continued sharing his wisdom and talents and skills with the next generations. He put his arms around me when a cross was burned in our front yard because of my youthful idealism, and he ended his professional life as the director of a predominantly black technical college in Beaufort, SC.
My father was a passionately, deeply religious man, on the conservative side (son of a country Baptist preacher), and quiet in his political convictions. He led by example: gentle, strong, caring, devoted. He could say "I love you" without hesiation, and even as adults, we kissed and hugged.
Harold Elijah Littleton, Sr. father and friend I miss you!
My earliest memory of him was the day he came home from the Great War and I saw this strange man grab and kiss my mother. Even though he was married with a child, he still considered it his patriotic duty to volunteer and serve his country. When it was over, he never glorified the war or mentioned it to me other than the time I asked him where he served. He was the ideal citizen soldier (he served in the Navy), and whether he agreed or not, he supported me in my conscientious objection to Vietnam.
Nine months and five minutes later :) my sister was born. They had a special bond (like Mother and I did) that showed me his warm and gentle side. He taught me how to ride a bike, take care of puppies, build model airplanes, and shoot a gun. Some of our best times were early morning breakfasts and waiting together in the deer stand. His trophies were limited, mine nonexistent.
He took me to the library for my first book about the birds and bees and taught me how to drive, leaving me alone to drive home after getting my licence at age 14. He was a teacher par excellence, remembered and revered by generations of veterans on the GI bill and high school students. Nothing escaped his ever watchful gaze, earning him the nickname "Hawkeye" around school.
Most of all he taught me integrity and deeply held moral values. He was not above admitting mistakes and changing his mind when convicted of the right. I remember him saying in 1954 that if the schools were ever integrated, he would stop teaching. Well, they were and he continued sharing his wisdom and talents and skills with the next generations. He put his arms around me when a cross was burned in our front yard because of my youthful idealism, and he ended his professional life as the director of a predominantly black technical college in Beaufort, SC.
My father was a passionately, deeply religious man, on the conservative side (son of a country Baptist preacher), and quiet in his political convictions. He led by example: gentle, strong, caring, devoted. He could say "I love you" without hesiation, and even as adults, we kissed and hugged.
Harold Elijah Littleton, Sr. father and friend I miss you!
Thursday, March 13, 2014
Visiting grandchildren
Our daughter Shanon was born during a challenging time in "our world." We gave her the middle name "Hope," to express to the extended family (in a time of strained communications) our affirmation of the good gift of creation, desire for wholeness, and optimism for the future. She and her sister Raquel have not disappointed us. Beautiful, intelligent, talented, capable, compassionate, caring, generous only begin to scribe these amazing women. Then they put the icing on the cake by giving us four grandchildren!
When the Nelsons from California visit, especially in summers, I get to take the boys hiking and camping and catch up on long times between visits. Raleigh is a little closer, so we see the Baggetts more often. Such is my pleasure this week.
Shanon is on the west coast with her sister, and I am needed (fortunately with the time) to help out in Raleigh. I get to fix breakfast, ferry to school, meet the bus drop off, take to piano lesson, watch a basketball game, prepare dinners, and who knows what others joys will present themselves before I return home next Tuesday. Forgive a point of personal privilege, but my grandkids (like yours I'm sure!) are absolutely phenomenal. The gratifying thing is---they are being raised to embody the values of their parents. They are becoming wonderful, loving human beings. This week is not a burden; it is a gift to me and I'm soaking it up!
Along with everything else, they are a constant reminder of my/our responsibility to give them a clean, safe, generous, accepting world in which loving and compassionate people and societies take care of the sick, feed the hungery, strive to eliminate poverty, and live by moral values that put service to others to the top of our priorities.
I look at my grandchildren and remain "hope-full."
When the Nelsons from California visit, especially in summers, I get to take the boys hiking and camping and catch up on long times between visits. Raleigh is a little closer, so we see the Baggetts more often. Such is my pleasure this week.
Shanon is on the west coast with her sister, and I am needed (fortunately with the time) to help out in Raleigh. I get to fix breakfast, ferry to school, meet the bus drop off, take to piano lesson, watch a basketball game, prepare dinners, and who knows what others joys will present themselves before I return home next Tuesday. Forgive a point of personal privilege, but my grandkids (like yours I'm sure!) are absolutely phenomenal. The gratifying thing is---they are being raised to embody the values of their parents. They are becoming wonderful, loving human beings. This week is not a burden; it is a gift to me and I'm soaking it up!
Along with everything else, they are a constant reminder of my/our responsibility to give them a clean, safe, generous, accepting world in which loving and compassionate people and societies take care of the sick, feed the hungery, strive to eliminate poverty, and live by moral values that put service to others to the top of our priorities.
I look at my grandchildren and remain "hope-full."
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Reflections on Lent
For the Christian world, Wednesday was Ash Wednesday and marked the beginning of Lent. Many non-liturgical traditions ignore or do not understand the meaning and significance of the season. Lent is the 40 day period leading up to Good Friday and Easter. It is a time of preparation; it is a time of self-denial and introspection. It is a time of "dieing" as the believer gets ready for "resurrection," re-birth. It is a serious time. It is intended to be a life changing time.
So, whether you are Christian or not, may I invite you to consider the message of Lent, death to the old and life to the new. During Lent many give up something--chocolate, meat, alcohol--to focus inward. Here is my list of suggested things to give up (based on the words of Jesus of Nazareth found in Matthew 5: 39-44:
1) give up hate, revenge, and retaliation. To be struck on the right cheek was to be back-handed, slapped, humiliated. The imperative (yes, imperative, not suggestion or recommendation or do when convenient) is to live an alternative to violence, which is usually our first reaction. DO love in humility.
2) give up greed and hoarding and selfish consumerism. If someone takes your "coat," offer a second. We never know their needs, and generosity is not "qualified." DO love wastefully, without thought to race, social or economic status, beliefs, etc.
3) give up begrudging meeting others needs or rightful expectations of us. When asked to go a mile--doing the minimum, doing the expected, doing the required--gladly double the effort to relieve the suffering of others. DO love because the person in front of us has dignity and value and a rightful place on this earth.
4) give up thinking about what and if we will receive in return. "Pay forward." Open our hearts and pocketbooks to respond to the needs of the world. DO think of others first. Do go out of the way to assist those in need. Lead by example.
Detractors will immediately say: these are not practical, these are ideals to strive for but not feasible, these cannot be attained, these are nice but unrealistic.
How do we know? Few of us have earnestly tried. One step at a time. One day at a time. Until we die to the old and enter the new.
So, whether you are Christian or not, may I invite you to consider the message of Lent, death to the old and life to the new. During Lent many give up something--chocolate, meat, alcohol--to focus inward. Here is my list of suggested things to give up (based on the words of Jesus of Nazareth found in Matthew 5: 39-44:
1) give up hate, revenge, and retaliation. To be struck on the right cheek was to be back-handed, slapped, humiliated. The imperative (yes, imperative, not suggestion or recommendation or do when convenient) is to live an alternative to violence, which is usually our first reaction. DO love in humility.
2) give up greed and hoarding and selfish consumerism. If someone takes your "coat," offer a second. We never know their needs, and generosity is not "qualified." DO love wastefully, without thought to race, social or economic status, beliefs, etc.
3) give up begrudging meeting others needs or rightful expectations of us. When asked to go a mile--doing the minimum, doing the expected, doing the required--gladly double the effort to relieve the suffering of others. DO love because the person in front of us has dignity and value and a rightful place on this earth.
4) give up thinking about what and if we will receive in return. "Pay forward." Open our hearts and pocketbooks to respond to the needs of the world. DO think of others first. Do go out of the way to assist those in need. Lead by example.
Detractors will immediately say: these are not practical, these are ideals to strive for but not feasible, these cannot be attained, these are nice but unrealistic.
How do we know? Few of us have earnestly tried. One step at a time. One day at a time. Until we die to the old and enter the new.
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