Sympathy

Sympathy is the ability to share the feelings of another. It is enhanced by having experienced what the other has or is going through. Without the shared experience, the most I can do is empathize, intellectually identify or vicariously experience the feelings of the other. When unable to do one (sympathize), I am not excused from doing the other (empathize). These are decidedly human characteristics, willful, intentional, conscious. In empathy I open myself humbly to the experience of the humanity of the other; I accept the common bond that holds us together, and I yearn to learn and grow from their experience.
Unless I have experienced the suffering of the other, I must listen in silence without trite, empty words, hollow and uncomforting. This is applicable with those near and dear; it is relevant in every situation of discrimination, prejudice, and persecution. The deepest most meaningful expression of reality is love; it is an appropriate synonym for "God." It is our purpose for being.
Intentional evil is easy to identify, and if we stop there, the job is half done. Systemic evil, the unintentional and unrecognized evil that is the foundation of hierarchical and patriarchal political, economic, social, and religious institutions requires a lifetime of conscious eradication. Paula Dean and I have hard work to do. Homophobia, Islamaphobia, fundamentalism (of every stripe) challenge our world. Thank goodness for small steps like the abolition of DOMA.

Never take life for granted.

Never take life for granted. I always knew that in my head. When I had prostate cancer in 1996, I realized that emotionally, and everyday since then I give thanks for the gift I have been given.
Now that our daughter Shanon has been diagnosed with breast cancer, the tentativeness of life is magnified and gratitude is multiplied.
The journey started the night she felt the lump. Today the next phase commences. She had a port implanted last Friday. Because of her small veins it was difficult. As I sit and write she is in Chapel Hill preparing for and enduring the first of four infusions. She will have four in all, three weeks apart if blood work goes well. That will be followed by six weeks of radiation. This time next year it should all be a bad dream. We are optimistic and hopeful.
Now life. We do not choose who, where, when we are born. Shouldn't that humble us? Why such anger and hostility in the world? Our differences should unite us and encourage compassion.
What could we have accomplished with all the energy and resources squandered on war and violence? Hope, our daughter's middle name, that leads to love and service to others is our only alternative for life.
As the rabbi said, a life of gratitude and joy is our "calling."

Reality, time, and ethics

When Christianity "superseded" Judaism, beginning with Paul, reinforced by the New Testament, Epistle of Barnabus and Melito the Bishop of Sardis, and consummated by Constantine with the Council of Nicea, it effectively sealed a metaphysical worldview for western civilization, gutted a meaningful understanding of time, and castrated ethics to the level of eunuch, individualized behavior for personal accomplishment and reward.
Now if that has your attention, let me back up and try to be a little more explanatory and less belligerent. I admit that is harsh language in the first paragraph.
Today I will only deal with the first element of my accusation; the other two will follow in due time. And that first accusation is that Christianity is based on a Platonic metaphysics. The postulation of a metaphysical realm belittles and subordinates the physical world, physical reality to second class citizenship, inferiority, and ultimate meaninglessness. Here was Christianity's first step of separation from its Jewish roots. Judaism, beginning with Genesis 1:1, affirms the goodness, the reality, the closeness of this world "with God" and calls it GOOD! Day by day in some of the world's most beautiful poetry, metaphorical language, Judaism affirms and gives gratitude for this cosmos. Here is where human history is played out. Here is where humankind's relationship with 'God" takes place. This is not a dress rehearsal; this is not a make believe. THIS is life; this is meaning; this is our one chance to receive and give love, the fabric that binds us to the ground of all being and creates community. Any concept of an "other" world is hollow, a shadow, empty, vaporous, dead end.
Life is a gift. There is "no place" to go when we die. So dance, love, live, serve, give thanks!

Life in the now

Someone once said, "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans." I am constantly reminded of the truth of that statement.
Six months ago the "plans" were to go to Ireland in August. It was to be a family vacation, planned by the girls and anticipated by all. Then the reality of breast cancer came into our lives. It was our younger daughter Shanon struck by this horrible disease. And from that moment forward it has been a day by day, procedure by procedure step. Everything is in her favor, given the fact that she has it, youth, otherwise good health and lifestyle, type, only double negative instead of triple (for those of you who know what that means), negative gene analysis. She will have four treatments three weeks apart of the TC cocktail. Yes, it will not be pleasant, but the prognosis is very good. She must get from here to there. She is brave, strong, optimistic---and ready to get it over with. She and I will be bald for a time, but bald is beautiful! Her husband is juggling many balls--work, school, but first priority his wife and her needs. Children 11 and 8 "know" and are loving and attentive. They all have a network of wonderful friends and take great comfort in their faith. Her mother and I, like all parents, wish we could take this burden from her. Life isn't fair; I am 72, she is 42. We all look forward to spending time together, crying, laughing, walking, eating, hugging and kissing.
Let's all hope that someone finds a cure to the scourge in 2013!!!