Life has a way of bringing us back to reality and what is important. It is so easy to get caught up in plans of grandeur and secondary significance that we ignore or miss what is in front of us. Others have stressed living in the present, living in the "now." To say the obvious, so obvious I for one have to be reminded, the past is over; there's nothing I can do about yesterday. I need to let go and center in the present. That doesn't mean I forget, that I don't honor those and what have gone before me. There is great necessity in learning from the past and not repeating its mistakes. Santayana was insightful. Obvious, again, I do not control the future. I can plan and hope and yearn, but ultimately I do not control. If you want to give God a laugh, tell her your plans. Thank you, Neibuhr, for the Serenity Prayer. Goodness how I need that wisdom!
Since last I sat and stared at this screen, so much has happened. "Life" has demanded attention.
Friends have continued to struggle mightily with life-threatening illnesses. Baby showers have announced the anticipated arrival of new life. Childhood playmates have lost mortal combat for life and love, and they did it with great dignity. Other "family" have announced their affirmation of love and optimism by setting a wedding date. The cycle continues; samsara; moksha.
Grass needs cutting. Invitations need answering. Doctor appointments need to be kept. Journeys need to begin and end. Classes need to be taught, mothers remembered, graduations celebrated. The present really is a gift and not to be taken for granted. Through it all, hope and love sustain us and make it all worth the effort.
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Sticks and stones.....
Remember the children's chant: sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me? Saying that might have kept some of us out of trouble at recess, but the more I reflect on those words, the more I must disagree with the assumption. Words can hurt us and often do.
I think for example of the blatant lies that are often broadcast in public and social media. Sometimes we do it unintentionally, not having questioned the source of our information, but repeating what we have received because it fits our preconceptions. Other times we do it deliberately to make our "point" and advance a particular agenda.
I think of slander and libelous comments fostered on those with whom we disagree. We assume the worse we can make others look, the better we and our like-minded associates can seem. We use words we do not understand and maliciously apply them to those we oppose. I heard someone observe: everyone is intitled to their own interpretation, but no one is intitled to their own facts. I have tried to be sure my "facts" are right before I pronounce them with authority.
I think careful and responsible attention to the words we use can restore civility and respect allowing ample opportunity for disagreement. Words set a tone, create an atmosphere or climate, and open or close attempts to communicate.
The words we use say more about us than about those we are attempting to characterize. Example: when someone says "nigger," they are revealing their prejudice and smallness of character. When we fill our discourse with words of violence and negative, destructive intention, we reveal our hostility and anger that accomplishes nothing constructive and uplifting.
I have consciously tried to eliminate phrases like "Jew someone down" because of the prejudicial stereotype behind it; I try not to use the word "kill" when talking about people and ideas because of the hostile, violent connotation; I try not to call someone I disagree with an "enemy," as I try to acknowledge their integrity and value as fellow human beings. Do I always live up to this lofty advice? No, and I apologize for my shortcomings. More and more I appreciate this incredible journey we are on together, and I need all the help I can get.
I am reminded of my traditions petition: "May the words of my mouth (MAY THE WORDS OF MY MOUTH) and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Thy sight." I start each day with these words on my lips, asking for help.
I think for example of the blatant lies that are often broadcast in public and social media. Sometimes we do it unintentionally, not having questioned the source of our information, but repeating what we have received because it fits our preconceptions. Other times we do it deliberately to make our "point" and advance a particular agenda.
I think of slander and libelous comments fostered on those with whom we disagree. We assume the worse we can make others look, the better we and our like-minded associates can seem. We use words we do not understand and maliciously apply them to those we oppose. I heard someone observe: everyone is intitled to their own interpretation, but no one is intitled to their own facts. I have tried to be sure my "facts" are right before I pronounce them with authority.
I think careful and responsible attention to the words we use can restore civility and respect allowing ample opportunity for disagreement. Words set a tone, create an atmosphere or climate, and open or close attempts to communicate.
The words we use say more about us than about those we are attempting to characterize. Example: when someone says "nigger," they are revealing their prejudice and smallness of character. When we fill our discourse with words of violence and negative, destructive intention, we reveal our hostility and anger that accomplishes nothing constructive and uplifting.
I have consciously tried to eliminate phrases like "Jew someone down" because of the prejudicial stereotype behind it; I try not to use the word "kill" when talking about people and ideas because of the hostile, violent connotation; I try not to call someone I disagree with an "enemy," as I try to acknowledge their integrity and value as fellow human beings. Do I always live up to this lofty advice? No, and I apologize for my shortcomings. More and more I appreciate this incredible journey we are on together, and I need all the help I can get.
I am reminded of my traditions petition: "May the words of my mouth (MAY THE WORDS OF MY MOUTH) and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Thy sight." I start each day with these words on my lips, asking for help.
Monday, March 17, 2014
A Tribute to My Father
Wednesday would have been my father's 100th birthday (March 19, 1914--March 19, 2014)! He was the finest man I have ever known, and even after I outgrew his 5' 7", I still looked up to him. I miss him everyday.
My earliest memory of him was the day he came home from the Great War and I saw this strange man grab and kiss my mother. Even though he was married with a child, he still considered it his patriotic duty to volunteer and serve his country. When it was over, he never glorified the war or mentioned it to me other than the time I asked him where he served. He was the ideal citizen soldier (he served in the Navy), and whether he agreed or not, he supported me in my conscientious objection to Vietnam.
Nine months and five minutes later :) my sister was born. They had a special bond (like Mother and I did) that showed me his warm and gentle side. He taught me how to ride a bike, take care of puppies, build model airplanes, and shoot a gun. Some of our best times were early morning breakfasts and waiting together in the deer stand. His trophies were limited, mine nonexistent.
He took me to the library for my first book about the birds and bees and taught me how to drive, leaving me alone to drive home after getting my licence at age 14. He was a teacher par excellence, remembered and revered by generations of veterans on the GI bill and high school students. Nothing escaped his ever watchful gaze, earning him the nickname "Hawkeye" around school.
Most of all he taught me integrity and deeply held moral values. He was not above admitting mistakes and changing his mind when convicted of the right. I remember him saying in 1954 that if the schools were ever integrated, he would stop teaching. Well, they were and he continued sharing his wisdom and talents and skills with the next generations. He put his arms around me when a cross was burned in our front yard because of my youthful idealism, and he ended his professional life as the director of a predominantly black technical college in Beaufort, SC.
My father was a passionately, deeply religious man, on the conservative side (son of a country Baptist preacher), and quiet in his political convictions. He led by example: gentle, strong, caring, devoted. He could say "I love you" without hesiation, and even as adults, we kissed and hugged.
Harold Elijah Littleton, Sr. father and friend I miss you!
My earliest memory of him was the day he came home from the Great War and I saw this strange man grab and kiss my mother. Even though he was married with a child, he still considered it his patriotic duty to volunteer and serve his country. When it was over, he never glorified the war or mentioned it to me other than the time I asked him where he served. He was the ideal citizen soldier (he served in the Navy), and whether he agreed or not, he supported me in my conscientious objection to Vietnam.
Nine months and five minutes later :) my sister was born. They had a special bond (like Mother and I did) that showed me his warm and gentle side. He taught me how to ride a bike, take care of puppies, build model airplanes, and shoot a gun. Some of our best times were early morning breakfasts and waiting together in the deer stand. His trophies were limited, mine nonexistent.
He took me to the library for my first book about the birds and bees and taught me how to drive, leaving me alone to drive home after getting my licence at age 14. He was a teacher par excellence, remembered and revered by generations of veterans on the GI bill and high school students. Nothing escaped his ever watchful gaze, earning him the nickname "Hawkeye" around school.
Most of all he taught me integrity and deeply held moral values. He was not above admitting mistakes and changing his mind when convicted of the right. I remember him saying in 1954 that if the schools were ever integrated, he would stop teaching. Well, they were and he continued sharing his wisdom and talents and skills with the next generations. He put his arms around me when a cross was burned in our front yard because of my youthful idealism, and he ended his professional life as the director of a predominantly black technical college in Beaufort, SC.
My father was a passionately, deeply religious man, on the conservative side (son of a country Baptist preacher), and quiet in his political convictions. He led by example: gentle, strong, caring, devoted. He could say "I love you" without hesiation, and even as adults, we kissed and hugged.
Harold Elijah Littleton, Sr. father and friend I miss you!
Thursday, March 13, 2014
Visiting grandchildren
Our daughter Shanon was born during a challenging time in "our world." We gave her the middle name "Hope," to express to the extended family (in a time of strained communications) our affirmation of the good gift of creation, desire for wholeness, and optimism for the future. She and her sister Raquel have not disappointed us. Beautiful, intelligent, talented, capable, compassionate, caring, generous only begin to scribe these amazing women. Then they put the icing on the cake by giving us four grandchildren!
When the Nelsons from California visit, especially in summers, I get to take the boys hiking and camping and catch up on long times between visits. Raleigh is a little closer, so we see the Baggetts more often. Such is my pleasure this week.
Shanon is on the west coast with her sister, and I am needed (fortunately with the time) to help out in Raleigh. I get to fix breakfast, ferry to school, meet the bus drop off, take to piano lesson, watch a basketball game, prepare dinners, and who knows what others joys will present themselves before I return home next Tuesday. Forgive a point of personal privilege, but my grandkids (like yours I'm sure!) are absolutely phenomenal. The gratifying thing is---they are being raised to embody the values of their parents. They are becoming wonderful, loving human beings. This week is not a burden; it is a gift to me and I'm soaking it up!
Along with everything else, they are a constant reminder of my/our responsibility to give them a clean, safe, generous, accepting world in which loving and compassionate people and societies take care of the sick, feed the hungery, strive to eliminate poverty, and live by moral values that put service to others to the top of our priorities.
I look at my grandchildren and remain "hope-full."
When the Nelsons from California visit, especially in summers, I get to take the boys hiking and camping and catch up on long times between visits. Raleigh is a little closer, so we see the Baggetts more often. Such is my pleasure this week.
Shanon is on the west coast with her sister, and I am needed (fortunately with the time) to help out in Raleigh. I get to fix breakfast, ferry to school, meet the bus drop off, take to piano lesson, watch a basketball game, prepare dinners, and who knows what others joys will present themselves before I return home next Tuesday. Forgive a point of personal privilege, but my grandkids (like yours I'm sure!) are absolutely phenomenal. The gratifying thing is---they are being raised to embody the values of their parents. They are becoming wonderful, loving human beings. This week is not a burden; it is a gift to me and I'm soaking it up!
Along with everything else, they are a constant reminder of my/our responsibility to give them a clean, safe, generous, accepting world in which loving and compassionate people and societies take care of the sick, feed the hungery, strive to eliminate poverty, and live by moral values that put service to others to the top of our priorities.
I look at my grandchildren and remain "hope-full."
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Reflections on Lent
For the Christian world, Wednesday was Ash Wednesday and marked the beginning of Lent. Many non-liturgical traditions ignore or do not understand the meaning and significance of the season. Lent is the 40 day period leading up to Good Friday and Easter. It is a time of preparation; it is a time of self-denial and introspection. It is a time of "dieing" as the believer gets ready for "resurrection," re-birth. It is a serious time. It is intended to be a life changing time.
So, whether you are Christian or not, may I invite you to consider the message of Lent, death to the old and life to the new. During Lent many give up something--chocolate, meat, alcohol--to focus inward. Here is my list of suggested things to give up (based on the words of Jesus of Nazareth found in Matthew 5: 39-44:
1) give up hate, revenge, and retaliation. To be struck on the right cheek was to be back-handed, slapped, humiliated. The imperative (yes, imperative, not suggestion or recommendation or do when convenient) is to live an alternative to violence, which is usually our first reaction. DO love in humility.
2) give up greed and hoarding and selfish consumerism. If someone takes your "coat," offer a second. We never know their needs, and generosity is not "qualified." DO love wastefully, without thought to race, social or economic status, beliefs, etc.
3) give up begrudging meeting others needs or rightful expectations of us. When asked to go a mile--doing the minimum, doing the expected, doing the required--gladly double the effort to relieve the suffering of others. DO love because the person in front of us has dignity and value and a rightful place on this earth.
4) give up thinking about what and if we will receive in return. "Pay forward." Open our hearts and pocketbooks to respond to the needs of the world. DO think of others first. Do go out of the way to assist those in need. Lead by example.
Detractors will immediately say: these are not practical, these are ideals to strive for but not feasible, these cannot be attained, these are nice but unrealistic.
How do we know? Few of us have earnestly tried. One step at a time. One day at a time. Until we die to the old and enter the new.
So, whether you are Christian or not, may I invite you to consider the message of Lent, death to the old and life to the new. During Lent many give up something--chocolate, meat, alcohol--to focus inward. Here is my list of suggested things to give up (based on the words of Jesus of Nazareth found in Matthew 5: 39-44:
1) give up hate, revenge, and retaliation. To be struck on the right cheek was to be back-handed, slapped, humiliated. The imperative (yes, imperative, not suggestion or recommendation or do when convenient) is to live an alternative to violence, which is usually our first reaction. DO love in humility.
2) give up greed and hoarding and selfish consumerism. If someone takes your "coat," offer a second. We never know their needs, and generosity is not "qualified." DO love wastefully, without thought to race, social or economic status, beliefs, etc.
3) give up begrudging meeting others needs or rightful expectations of us. When asked to go a mile--doing the minimum, doing the expected, doing the required--gladly double the effort to relieve the suffering of others. DO love because the person in front of us has dignity and value and a rightful place on this earth.
4) give up thinking about what and if we will receive in return. "Pay forward." Open our hearts and pocketbooks to respond to the needs of the world. DO think of others first. Do go out of the way to assist those in need. Lead by example.
Detractors will immediately say: these are not practical, these are ideals to strive for but not feasible, these cannot be attained, these are nice but unrealistic.
How do we know? Few of us have earnestly tried. One step at a time. One day at a time. Until we die to the old and enter the new.
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Winter reflections
The ebb and flow of life hypnotizes, and in the process it is often tempting to get lost and lose the big picture. The passion of the moment should never be minimized, but it is easy to forget that the universe has its own timeframe. MLK said, "The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice." Some of us want justice now, and patience is a hard lesson to learn.
February 9 the Moral Movement gathered in Raleigh. It was an inspiring gathering to be involved in. It was joyous. It was thrilling. It was uplifting. It was peaceful and full of love and compassion. It was positive. Its purpose was to remind the power structure that our world needs healing and it is within our power to do this.
My grand daughter Isabel wanted to go with me. An eleven year old, in the innocence of love and caring, grasped the importance of what 20 to 80,000 (depends on who you ask) people sang and "preached" about and marched for. Her questions humbled me and taught me much!
Immigration is an issue and opportunity that both parties claim they want to resolve. Yet grown people cannot put aside their egoes and personal agendas to cooperate for the good of the nation. Economically it makes sense. In terms of human needs and moral demands, it makes sense. Constructive, positive outcomes far outweigh isolated and short term inconveniences.
The LGBT's day has come. They have suffered too long at the hands of narrow-minded, mean-spirited people. Their integrity deserves recognition. Their access to equal treatment under the law has far too long been denied. Their "family values" deserve affirmation.
The heavenly declaration of 2000 years ago needs to be heard and implementd: "Peace on earth to people of good will." Whose side will we stand on?
February 9 the Moral Movement gathered in Raleigh. It was an inspiring gathering to be involved in. It was joyous. It was thrilling. It was uplifting. It was peaceful and full of love and compassion. It was positive. Its purpose was to remind the power structure that our world needs healing and it is within our power to do this.
My grand daughter Isabel wanted to go with me. An eleven year old, in the innocence of love and caring, grasped the importance of what 20 to 80,000 (depends on who you ask) people sang and "preached" about and marched for. Her questions humbled me and taught me much!
Immigration is an issue and opportunity that both parties claim they want to resolve. Yet grown people cannot put aside their egoes and personal agendas to cooperate for the good of the nation. Economically it makes sense. In terms of human needs and moral demands, it makes sense. Constructive, positive outcomes far outweigh isolated and short term inconveniences.
The LGBT's day has come. They have suffered too long at the hands of narrow-minded, mean-spirited people. Their integrity deserves recognition. Their access to equal treatment under the law has far too long been denied. Their "family values" deserve affirmation.
The heavenly declaration of 2000 years ago needs to be heard and implementd: "Peace on earth to people of good will." Whose side will we stand on?
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Reflections on MLK and 12 Years a Slave
I have not posted in several days because I have been reflecting on two recent events.
January 20 was MLK Day, a deserved Day, a challenging Day, a required Day for our national conscience. Yes, non-violence was a practical tool in his leadership struggle for equality and ending discrimination, but it also was a deeply held moral conviction that came out of his profound faith. Until the untimely end, his faith guided him in his recognition of the dignity and worth of every human being, his expanding conviction of the immorality of the Vietnam War, and his increasing awareness of the causes and consequences of poverty in this country. "A prophet is never appreciated in his own country," and this country, the political establishment, and the "church" opposed him mightily.
I had the good fortune to hear him speak in person while I was in graduate school at Vanderbilt. The next year I and fellow students marched in Memphis in memorial to his life and death. He was not perfect. Name me one person who is. He was a work in progress, and he was light years ahead of most of us in the movement toward justice, mercy, love, and the humble walk. It is fitting to remember him in a Day of Service. It is more fitting that everyday be lived in service to our fellow humans.
In the sixties and seventies I was convinced that my generation would at last lift this nation to a realization of our ideals of equality for all under the law AND eliminate racial. hatred and discrimination. Today my generation IS the face of racial hatred and the perpetuation of inequality (racial, gender, economic). My generation is the embodiment of greed and selfish consumption, desperately clinging to the past, closing its heart to the needs of those around us.
Two examples: (1) an ad for Cheerioes to be shown during the Super Bowl shows an interracial family around a breakfast table. The early YouTube response is filled with racial slurs and racial hatred. And (2) we went to see 12 Years a Slave a couple of weeks ago. It is a powerful film, full of violence, realistic, straight from the book and author who experienced this tragedy. About 3/4 of the way through, two middle-aged Black women got up to leave. But before they exited, one of the woman screamed for all to hear: "You white bitches! It would be the same today if the laws hadn't changed!" At least she has some laws on her side..
We are not called to be successful; we are called to be faithful.---Mother Teresa
The best life is the one lived in service to others.---MLK
My wish is that we all remember.
January 20 was MLK Day, a deserved Day, a challenging Day, a required Day for our national conscience. Yes, non-violence was a practical tool in his leadership struggle for equality and ending discrimination, but it also was a deeply held moral conviction that came out of his profound faith. Until the untimely end, his faith guided him in his recognition of the dignity and worth of every human being, his expanding conviction of the immorality of the Vietnam War, and his increasing awareness of the causes and consequences of poverty in this country. "A prophet is never appreciated in his own country," and this country, the political establishment, and the "church" opposed him mightily.
I had the good fortune to hear him speak in person while I was in graduate school at Vanderbilt. The next year I and fellow students marched in Memphis in memorial to his life and death. He was not perfect. Name me one person who is. He was a work in progress, and he was light years ahead of most of us in the movement toward justice, mercy, love, and the humble walk. It is fitting to remember him in a Day of Service. It is more fitting that everyday be lived in service to our fellow humans.
In the sixties and seventies I was convinced that my generation would at last lift this nation to a realization of our ideals of equality for all under the law AND eliminate racial. hatred and discrimination. Today my generation IS the face of racial hatred and the perpetuation of inequality (racial, gender, economic). My generation is the embodiment of greed and selfish consumption, desperately clinging to the past, closing its heart to the needs of those around us.
Two examples: (1) an ad for Cheerioes to be shown during the Super Bowl shows an interracial family around a breakfast table. The early YouTube response is filled with racial slurs and racial hatred. And (2) we went to see 12 Years a Slave a couple of weeks ago. It is a powerful film, full of violence, realistic, straight from the book and author who experienced this tragedy. About 3/4 of the way through, two middle-aged Black women got up to leave. But before they exited, one of the woman screamed for all to hear: "You white bitches! It would be the same today if the laws hadn't changed!" At least she has some laws on her side..
We are not called to be successful; we are called to be faithful.---Mother Teresa
The best life is the one lived in service to others.---MLK
My wish is that we all remember.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)